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im nothing special

fuck feel so empty i need hlep but i dont wanna go get it

neil wants me to get help but i cant coz if i do then people will know and theyll be ugh and i dont want them to know

my parents would be so worried and theyll restrict me from doing shit and therell be fights and ill cryt i dont wana cry i hate myself crying so much

so fucking weak goddamn

im pathetic im trash im fuckong worthless no one fucking neds me here everyone was fine without me just fiuck christ im so fucking shit im so pathetic im so FUCKING SORRY OK IM SO SORRY IM SO SHITTY AND NEEDY AND CLINGY i dont wanna

shanes fucking busy with his own shit coz why help me when ive fuckng helped you vefore with your shit doesnt matter how bad i fucking feel ill fucking help people and listen but nn o when im hurting i get told to fuck off coz hes fucking busy fucking HELP ME GODDAMN IT IF I DIDNT NEED SOMEONE I WOULDTN HAVE FUCKINGG MESSAGED YOU

thank fuck uni friends havent realised how bad i am thank god ive manafed to hide it coz if i sidnt i wouldl have no frieneds id be fucking dead by now if i didnt have friends at least they dontknow

except for neil

why the FUCK did i think i was special to him why did i not keep tekling myself he has heaps of friends like me but he fucks them not me hes close to thehm whyh the fuck did ii ever think he liked likes me whatever coz its obviouos hes just a friened nothing mmore and  i need mire i just want someone to love me goddamn it i just wannaa feeel like im fucking wanted by someone ive fucking had enough god fucking damn it

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